Here’s why we can’t just ‘get over it’

-*DISCLAIMER*

I’m not an expert on human behaviour and I’ll never be an expert, no one can! I don’t have the answer to all your questions and I can’t rescue you. I believe we’re all capable of understanding ourselves, being independant and making the right choices for ourselves and we find the strength to do all these things within ourselves and the only person who is an expert on you is YOU! My content includes information that has helped me on my journey to recovery, although about 90% of my content is scientific knowledge I do give my personal opinions from time to time, I’m currently working towards becoming a qualified counsellor/therapist so my opinions aren’t professional. As I do not have qualifications yet I can’t give professional guidance but I encourage everyone to form their own personal opinions aswell based on the scientific knowledge given in these videos

 

Hey guys, so today I’m talking about why people suffering from depression can’t just get over it. Before I start I just want to let you guys know that I’m not trying to bash anyone because I understand why people would think  that depressed people can simply get over it, in our society people don’t really talk about depression it’s seen as a kind of taboo subject and I know a lot of people think its just being sad and that makes sense because that’s basically what it is, its like extreme sadness over a prolonged period of time.

Depression is real, it’s not just some imaginary thing that someone made up to cover up for demonic possession (I’ve actually heard someone say this) and its not just simply feeling sad, its an illness in the same way that cancer is an illness there’s symptoms, one of them being feeling deeply sad for a prolonged period of time but there are other symptoms aswell like having low energy, forgetfulness and feeling lonely. Anyone can get depression in the same way anyone can get cancer, contrary to popular belief you don’t actually have to have a tough life to get depression because it can also be caused by a lack of serotonin or dopamine in the brain. So telling someone they don’t have anything to be depressed about is like saying why do you have cancer you don’t even smoke, but I get that depression is a hard thing to wrap your head around if you’ve never experienced it first hand so you’re not a bad person for saying things like that because ignorance can lead people to say things that others may perceive as offensive.

Another thing is this whole craze with positive thinking, it seems like our society has become so obsessed with speaking or thinking positively that we’re afraid to speak or think truthfully. My truth is “negative” emotions or thoughts aren’t good or bad, they’re just a part of being human and it seems maladaptive to strive to be positive all the time because in life we’re going to have periods where we just feel so low and we can’t bring ourselves to think positively and with depression we already have low energy and we may not have enough serotonin and/or dopamine in our brains so using all our energy trying to be positive instead of just trying to understand ourselves and give ourselves a break can end up making us feel worse, another symptom of depression is having a harsh self critic so constantly being told to that we need to think positive can lead us to bringing ourselves down for not being positive. always remember, our thought patterns create pathways in our brains and those pathways strengthen every time we think a certain way so try not to be too hard on yourself for thinking negatively you’re undoing years of strengthened thought pathways and you’re trying your best and if people don’t want to be around you because they think you’re way of thinking is “bad” that’s their problem and not yours, just thinking positive without another form of treatment e.g therapy, counselling, meditation, art or medication isn’t effective in treating depression, it  can actually lead to another mental health issue called dissociation, I will be making a more indepth post and video about this but basically dissociation is where we kind of feel nothing at all, we cry less but we don’t really have any emotions at all our brains kind of go on auto pilot because feeling our emotions is too much for us, this may sound better than depression because we’re not sad all the time anymore but we still don’t have a good quality of life because we can’t really go out and laugh with friends and feel like we’re enjoying ourselves

There’s a stage in depression where we start feeling more energetic and motivated but we may still be in a depressive episode, this stage is where we are at a higher risk of committing suicide because we now have the energy and motivation to do so. When we were feeling low and didn’t have energy we may have had suicidal thoughts but we didn’t have the energy or motivation to actually come up with a plan and go through with it so when we get our energy levels back we can feel really motivated to finally do what we were previously too tired to do

So, I honestly understand why you would want to tell someone with depression to just get over it given the fact that as a society we don’t know enough about it so try not to feel bad if you’ve ever told someone to just get over it, it’s not your fault it’s just the way life goes. In my next post and video I will be discussing how to help friends and family cope with depression but in the meantime, heres a tip you can use right away. Let your friend or family member know that what they’re going through is natural and their emotions are valid and theres nothing wrong with them, just these few words can honestly go the longest way because in our society we’re taught that depression and other mental illnesses are bad and people with them are either violent or aren’t a normal human.

When you’re depressed you constantly feel like life isn’t worth living and it’s really hard, so many people die from it every day and you’re here, you’re alive that means you’re strong even if you don’t feel like it, this is an illness people die from and you’re alive even if you don’t feel alive your heart is beating, your brain might not be working in the best way but its working and as long as you’re alive you have a chance to be happy. We don’t get over depression that’s not the word to use, we learn how to cope with it, we learn how to be stronger and I know its difficult but you’re a strong person and you can do it no matter what you’ve been through I believe in you and everyday you take a step closer to being your best self. crisis comes, use it as fuel.

Thank you

Youtube: Olivia Fleur

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